Trial First Post

.This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..This is a trial first post about nothing..

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“Sir, Your Ego is in the Way…”

I’m sitting with my friend at a local café one Thursday evening (Thursday is the last working day of the week in the Middle East). We were enjoying warm labne and vegetable wraps and talking about how our weeks had gone when she suddenly says to me,

“I sat in on a meeting today and heard the most shocking thing ever. It’s so shocking that I think it’s kind of funny…”

“I’m not interested in hearing it” I reply and we continue eating then leave.

No, no I’m just kidding.

I’m serious it was a joke, there’s no need to block me.

Anyway, I asked her what it was and here’s what she said:

“Our company and it’s largest competitor are losing out on hundreds of thousands of dollars a year and the simple solution to that problem is to merge one of our projects together..and so during the meeting, I stupidly asked why we didn’t do that and EVERYONE just turned and stared at me like I had asked them to sprout wings and fly to Coachella…

Continue reading “Sir, Your Ego is in the Way…”

The Thin Line between Co-worker and Friend

I’m feeling the need to vent to you guys about something so hurry up and put your sugar in your coffee and lean in because I’m at work and I need to whisper.

There’s this guy at work who suddenly stopped speaking to me. Stopped even looking me in the eye  altogether. In fact, when he walks in he scans the room saying good morning to every on my left – looks above me as if I didn’t exist – then continues to say hello to everyone else on my right!

At first I thought it was my imagination, maybe he’s having a rough time at home? Maybe I accidentally forgot to take off my invisibility cloak from when I wore it last night to stalk my ex? Apparently, maybe not because people started whispering that he had an ‘issue’ with me. I didn’t believe it until the most non-gossipy co-worker I know gossiped about it to me.

Now before I tell you what his “reason” is for not talking to me, I’m going to tell you a series of events that led up to this.

Continue reading The Thin Line between Co-worker and Friend

“…And Do You Know What His Biggest Asset Was?”

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 I work in Insurance…so yes, my job is very glamorous. So glamorous that I have a personal stylist with me at all times to ensure that when I insure…I look like Adriana Lima. No, I’m just kidding. But the fact that I’m probably one of only a handful of women in the business, I do get sometimes treated like Adriana Lima. (I’m trying to make myself feel better, I’d appreciate it if you’d let me have this one.)

I am fairly passionate about the field (as passionate as a twenty five year old woman can be, which I tell my boss translates to basically “I show up, that’s enough.”) but sometimes the meetings can be a little bland.

Today however there was an interesting twist. Someone had bumped into someone well known in the field..

Co-Worker One: I saw Mr. Million Bucks (that isn’t his real name by the way…)

Co-Worker Two: Yeah, he’s a big shot now. Not even a big shot, a big big BIG shot (not very creative I know, but give him a break he’s an insurance guy he’s not paid to be funny)

Continue reading “…And Do You Know What His Biggest Asset Was?”

My Poem Got Rejected By My Second Favorite Online Literary Magazine

 

About a month ago I was walking down a hallway at work when an idea for a poem came to mind. (The poem is called Halls, in case you were wondering…and is about hallways, but like, in a deep way). So anyway, I decided to submit it to an online literary magazine that I liked, all the while telling myself “it might not get accepted and that is okay…”

And I thought it would be okay, only this morning I got an email from them and it read “we regret to inform you…” you can guess the rest.

Now one thing you don’t know about me is that the voice in my head strongly resembles that of Tyler Perry’s Madea and I have fondly called my ghetto-licious mental alter ego, Shaniqua.

So Shaniqua’s first reaction was Is. You. For. Real? *Insert clapping and head bobbing*

Yes, sweet Shaniqua, they was for real.

Continue reading My Poem Got Rejected By My Second Favorite Online Literary Magazine